dear you.

1)
so, I'm letting go of everything that makes me feeling weak.
Or,
at least,
I'm trying to.
I feel like a fragile creature to have someone I cling to,
someone whose presence means so much for my days.
I don't want that,
but it did happen.
I have you as someone I once loved so much,
yet now you left me with no single explanation.
Leaving me with question marks
and unexplainable sorrow.

2)
You're more like a habit for me.
and everyone in the world knew
how uneasy it is to let go of a habit.
and I felt it deep
how uneasy it is to let go of a habit -
of you.

3)
I want to surf on our conversations
only to find where did I go wrong,
my words that put you in hesitation,
something that made you leave
with no explanation.

4)
I looked at a line of your name
in my list of conversations.
My latest message was not replied -
now for two days.

I looked at a line of your name
wondering what made you stop
talking to me like we used to.
Was it because of my unclear messages?
Was it because I became boring?
Was it because...
you suddenly realized
what you're not sure of me?

I looked at a line of your name.
Wondering whether all those sad quotes
that I post on my instagram
could bring you back to me?

I looked at a line of your name.
Thinking to my self that
I've been planning to wish you
a very blessed 22nd birthday
on 18th June next week.

I looked at a line of your name,
saying to my self
what a sad separation this is.

5)
Dear you,
I knew I never said it enough,
but Iloveyou.