s-o-l-o

So, it feels like it's the first time I'm officially being 100% single again since long time ago. I spent the past months having such unclear relationships with a few people. But I decided to let them go - all of them.

At first, I thought it would feel so lonely not having someone to swap regular texts daily - not having a love interest, but actually now that I'm absolutely single, well I should say that it is not that scary at all. I feel more like a free bird.

I realized that I don't think I'm suitable for relationship right now. I'm still not into dating.
I even think that dating is not my thing since it would feel definitely weird to me.
How could I show that I care to a person I barely knew for months? How could I enjoy spending time comfortably with someone I barely knew not so long time ago? How could I know that this person is trustworthy? How could I know if they could be somebody to lean on? How could I know that this person is going to worth what it costs to date (money, time, make ups)?

If you love the fluttering feeling of falling in love, you'd possibly enjoy going on dates.
But I don't think it's ever gonna work out for me.
Personally, I would much prefer spending my free time on the weekend with my family,
where we usually go to malls; watching movies, shopping, and grabbing nice foods to eat.
I'm so used to with people I knew so dearly like my sister and my mom, even it would feel weird for me if I do the same activities with another people.

I'm not feeling lonely,
well perhaps I'm just being confused about what to do at night where like most young adults out there spend their times texting and I'm just watching foodies videos or playing The Sims instead.
I couldn't say that's bad; in fact, I do enjoy every minute of my life now. I feel grateful.

Having no love interest doesn't mean that I'm empty,
it's just the love is transformed into different receiver; my family. I believe that they're the best love interest I could ever have in my lifetime. I focus all my concern and energy to make them happy. Everyday, I'm looking forward to spend time with them again on the weekend. For me, weekdays feel like I'm barely breathing, but weekend gets me feeling alive by being around the people that I love the most; my family.